Center of Chaos
by hermionesmydawg
Summary: Kensi is relegated to desk duty in Ops when she becomes pregnant, but the position change isn't as simple or safe as it should be. Written for the tumblr hiatus fic challenge 2: season 7 speculation.


**Written for the tumblr NCIS LA Hiatus Fic Challenge #2: Speculation for season 7.**

 **As usual, I own nothing.**

* * *

"Be safe."

Deeks smiles, lighting up the dark blue room as Kensi rolls her eyes. His smile can be infectious at times, but lately he has been absolutely glowing. Even more than her, if possible.

"How about _you_ be safe," she chides, ghosting her fingers over his as he pushes away from her desk in Ops. That phrase has long been their words of affection in the workplace, even though they have nothing to hide anymore. They still make it a point to try to stay as professional as possible, even given their current circumstances.

"I'll be fine, I've got Velma watching my back." Deeks lightly punches the shoulder of the tiny redhead next to him, which earns him a harder smack on the arm from Nell.

"Anyway..." Nell clears her throat and turns her attention to Eric. "We'll be back soon. Let us know if Sam and Callen get anything out of the guy in the boat shed?"

Eric and Kensi both sigh. "A name would be a nice starting point," he grumbles.

"Thanks," Deeks says, patting Eric on the back on the way out the door. Kensi can hear his teasing of his new partner even upon their exit. "You could get a name out of him. Put on your Velma glasses and go-go boots..."

"Shut up, Deeks."

"Shutting up."

A smile plays across her lips and a twinge of jealousy pings her heart as their voices fade away and the doors in Ops slide closed. She misses working in the field with Deeks, and chasing bad guys, and everything else associated with the job she originally signed up for. Four months now she has been working exclusively in the NCIS OPS Operation Center, and for four months she has been harboring a secret. Not the secret that would have quickly become obvious to everyone - that she is pregnant. No, Deeks made that known to everybody as soon as she narrowly missed a stray bullet at 8 weeks along. The surprise kink in their relationship plans changed everything at that point, but amazingly, for the better. She was relegated to desk duty at that point, and Nell got her chance to prove herself in the field again.

Logging in to her desk computer, Kensi waits for anything from her team that will give her something to do until it's time to do what she has been dreading for weeks. Between Eric and Nell's guidance, she has actually gotten pretty damn good at playing the role of Tech Operator. She had a base of knowledge from her early days at OSP, before she was fully trusted in the field, but now she knows way more about security and searches and facial recognition than she ever thought possible.

Casting a sideways glance at Eric, she remembers a clandestine conversation that took place shortly after her position change.

 _"I know this is an inconvenience-"_

 _"Quite the opposite, actually," Assistant Director Granger interrupted quietly, holding his hand up. He always had a way of making everything sound serious and top secret, so Kensi prepared herself for some sort of lecture about opportunities and placement that wouldn't make much sense, but she would nod and agree with anyway. Hetty could be a bad influence on him when it came to being honest and upfront._

 _"I have an important job for you," he continued, his eyes constantly searching the deserted hallway they were standing in._

 _Kensi swallowed nervously, the memories of her last important assignment flooding her mind. "A job...in Ops?"_

 _"Yes," he answered gravely. "I've been trying to put the pieces together for over a year now. Officer Sabatino's death was too...familiar to me."_

 _"You don't think it was just a car accident."_

 _"Not at all. Convenient that the agency didn't feel the need to investigate, wasn't it?"_

 _She balked. "You don't think the CIA-"_

 _"Sanctioned a hit in the US? No. But that doesn't mean I don't think there aren't CIA players involved. Or players from other teams involved."_

 _Vostanik Sabatino had died a month ago when his car lost control and crashed into a tree in the middle of the night. Now that she thought about it, the accident was eerily similar to Granger's own when he was being poisoned. He wasn't the only intended poison victim, either. Most had, but she hadn't forgotten about the Aconitum plant left on her desk. "You think this is tied to the White Ghost mission?"_

 _"At this point, I don't know what to think or who to trust." Granger clenched his jaw and slid his hands in his pockets. "But I know I trust you."_

Kensi waits patiently, hoping that today will turn into nothing, or that somehow she won't have to resort to the plan she has concocted in her head. Not that she is scared - she just really, truly wants to be wrong.

Every other Thursday at 11:00, the command center in Ops becomes, from what she can tell, completely vulnerable. No firewalls up, and a proxy server is enabled. It only lasts for a few minutes, but she knows by now that it's not a figment of her imagination. The first time it happened, she only noticed because she was using downtime to learn more about their network and how to access databases from other agencies. She convinced herself it was a fluke, but found herself periodically checking their settings to see if it happened again. When it did, she went straight to Granger to share her findings.

An expert on computers, she is not. But she's learned enough to get by and actually do a pretty good job alongside Eric. Her NCIS login doesn't have administrative rights...but Eric's does. It only took a few times of peering over his shoulder to figure out his password (and for a technology geek, Eric&Nell2016 is a horribly insecure password).

The minutes tick away like hours until Baby Deeks starts kicking the ever-loving hell out of her solar plexus. It's time for a snack, and time for action. "Want a cookie?" Kensi asks, popping an entire chocolate chip cookie in her mouth.

"Sure." Eric smiles and takes a cookie. The "no food up in Ops" rule had quickly disappeared with the addition of a starving pregnant woman. Her love for gooey, melting chocolate chip cookies will, hopefully, work in her favor today.

"Ah crap." Standing up, Eric licks his fingers but that just spreads the sticky mess.

"Yeah, you got a little..." She circles her mouth with a finger and points to his face.

"Uck, I gotta...yeah." He sighs and scurries towards the door.

Kensi watches as the door closes, then slides her chair to his desk. Taking note of all the applications he has open, she logs him off and logs herself into his computer. Rolling back to her own desk, she logs in as Eric and disables the firewall that always seems to magically open up at this time of the day on Thursdays. Her plan is weak, and not well thought out, but she has to know whether her fears are unfounded or not. Now, all she can do is wait.

Eric looks at her sheepishly when he returns. Guilt fills her heart, because there is no way that sweet, dorky Eric Beale could ever betray NCIS and put his surrogate family in danger. It's just not possible.

Except, anything is possible. She watches him, noting his posture change after he settles back into his seat and resumes his work. She sees his head tilt curiously to the side, notes the clench of his strong jaw, and closes her eyes to shield herself from his gaze as his chair spins around. Whether his expression is one of hurt or anger, she doesn't want to witness it.

His voice is dull and unfamiliar when he finally addresses her. "What did you do, Kensi?"

"I don't know, Eric." She blinks, oddly surprised that he is as calm as he appears. God knows she's anything but. "What did I do?"

He shakes his head and removes his bluetooth from his ear. Kensi feels a touch of panic start to rise in her throat when he approaches her and gently pulls her own ear piece away, turning it off and placing it next to her computer. "Fix it."

"Eric, why?"

"Just fix it," he replies sharply. Kensi stares at him in disbelief, but doesn't argue or deny his request. "This wasn't my idea," he continues softly.

"It doesn't matter if it was your idea," she snaps.

"You have no idea what's going on."

Bad things, _wrong_ things are going on. That was all she needed to know. Still, she wants to help him. Whatever the problem, Eric is her friend. "So tell me."

"I can't." His eyes are sad and desperate and Kensi just wants to make it all go away, but she can't. She's afraid he's already in too deep.

"But...I can't ignore this. You know I can't. I don't even know what you're doing but it's not right."

"I'm allowing someone access to our records, our searches. Suspects, POIs. And you're about to ask who, and I don't know. I'm given orders and I follow them," he explains matter-of-factly.

Leaning forward, she reaches for his hands. "Who gives the orders?"

Eric shrugs. "They're nameless. Faceless."

"No." It just doesn't make sense, just like it didn't make sense when they discovered that Karl was the mole responsible for the release of Hetty's information and Granger's poisoning. "I have to tell Granger."

He pleads with her. "I don't have a choice in this, Kensi. Don't do this."

"I have to," she says, her voice cracking ever so slightly. Damn pregnancy hormones.

Remorse washes over his face. "Then...I'm really sorry."

A chill runs up her spine and she snatches her hands away from him. Instinctively they rest on her growing belly. It's the first time she's ever felt a mother's sort of protectiveness. "Why are you sorry?"

"Nobody's going to hurt you," he reassures her.

She repeats herself, harsher this time. " _Why_ are you sorry?"

"Because everyone is going to be terribly disappointed when they find out that a trusted NCIS agent is a mole." Eric turns his back to her and returns to his computer. A cowardly move, she thinks.

"Who?"

"You," he says, as if it should have been obvious.

Confronting him alone was a mistake. Kensi feels like she came into this completely unprepared but is forcing herself to remain calm. "I'm not a mole."

"So you say," he responds. "Interesting that the firewall breaches started around the time you started working in Ops. Poor naive Beale, they'll say. He has the easiest password to crack. Everybody knows he has a crush on Nell, after all. He never thought Kensi would ever take advantage of him. But you know, now that we're talking about it, it all makes sense. You, out of everyone, have the best motive."

Kensi laughs, but not because what he said is particularly funny. "No one will believe that. Not to mention, I have no motive to betray my country."

"Maybe not." After bringing up all of his usual programs, he spins back around to face her. "But hurting Hetty? She sent you on a mission to kill your ex-fiancee with no warning or information. Granger was supposed to be your handler on that mission, but abandoned you for days at a time and kept you in the dark. Sabatino was your CIA contact, part of the agency that was actually trying to kill Jack Simon and would have sacrificed you in the process. You don't see it?"

"Karl was responsible for those things. Most of those things, anyway." The baby kicks her again, a reminder to not let her emotions take over. "And besides, he tried to poison me, too."

Eric clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "If he had really wanted to poison you, he would have been successful."

The events of that day are a distant memory now, but bits and pieces are flashing before her eyes. The plant on her desk. Eric was with her when they all noticed it. The stand-off in the armory. Eric was the hostage that Karl claimed. The money deposited into his bank account. He had been set up to look like a mole, knowing no one would believe it. Everybody blindly jumped to his defense. The mole, the Afghanistan mission - it all has to be tied together somehow, and she's right in the center of the chaos. "Karl tried to take you," she whispers. "You weren't a hostage. You were an accomplice."

The worry lines across his forehead are deeper than she's ever seen before. "This is bigger than Karl, or me, or you. Stay quiet, Kensi. Please. I don't want to drag you into this."

A photo of a license plate pops up on the big screen, taking them both by surprise. Kensi grabs her ear set and turns it back on. The first thing she hears is Deeks chiding Nell about her driving, likening it to Danica Patrick. She relaxes just at the sound of his voice. "Deeks?"

"Hey, there you are," Deeks answers. "I just sent you a plate number to run. Jesus, Nell, I am never letting you drive again."

Kensi clears her throat. "I'll send you the registration when I pull it up."

Deeks pauses, and Kensi can imagine him puckering his lips. "You okay?"

"Fine," she says too quickly. "I'll get back to you in a few."

She clicks her ear piece off again and returns to her computer, pulling up her DMV program. They have work to do now, thankfully. She doesn't want to think about Eric or any of the moles and the ramifications that could possibly affect her and her family.

"Kensi."

"I won't say anything, Eric," she says tersely. It goes against her morals and beliefs, but she has more than just herself to worry about now.

"Thanks." He sighs and returns to his furiously fast typing. "I'm sorry."

"Never apologize." It was something Callen had told her once, a philosophy held by another NCIS agent that had visited them years ago. "Especially if you're not sorry."

"I am, though." Now is the perfect time for Hetty or Granger or anyone to burst in with some sort of urgent request, but the doors remain closed and the room quiet. The only words between them for the rest of the day is a softly spoken acknowledgement of their troubles, so quiet that she barely hears him.

"We all have to do things we don't want to sometimes...to protect the ones we love."


End file.
